MundaneMage (mundanemage) wrote in bitch_about_it,

damn it is right

Why is it so hard to talk to someone that is suppose to be your other half? How is you are suppose to open up and speak freely with them when are they give in return is frustration and ritacual? Damn it she is my wife. She is the last person I should have to sheild myself from. She is the last person I should what to push away. I try to talk to her and get advice about stuff or just generally discuss and important topic and all a get back is, "You best get you act together cause I'm not going to put up with it. You do see what you are doing wrong. You don't understand how you are hurting us." If she would shut up and actually take five damn seconds to hear what I am saying she would see that I am trying to set things up for me to get back to being the orderly structured responsible person I was and still be able to have her in my life. But instead she give me attitude and says she will not let up until I show improvement. I tryed to tell her that I already am fighting to keep her in my life and part of me while doing this. Before when I was complete control and no one in my personal life. I did that for ten years and she knows this. I told her I feel like I am slipping by to not caring about anyone including her. What does she do? forget everything I manage to get myself to say to her and give me nothing but crap. Pissing me off, hurting me, and making me pull a 180 and what to say f**k it all and call it quites.

I blame her attitude on her mother. From what I have seen of her mother in the past six years is a cold one sided version of caring. Her mother did not teach my wife anything growing up. She nurshered my wife's fears as a child and they are now phobias. And worst of all her mother expect praise for anything she does for her children. My parents may of spanked my ass and showed me anger but they never ever tryed to tell me I was suppose to praise them cause they cooked me a dinner or drove me somewhere. They did not pretend everything was okay financially and then get angry at me when I as for a little money. I was part of my family and supporting it. My support was not needed. I would have still eaten and had cloths and lived a happy life with out working as a teen. However my parent gave me the understanding of what it take to support a family and I saw how hard it was and I choose to get a job to help. My mother-in-law taught my wife NOTHING. And now she gives me a cold hard shoulder when I am basicly asking for a hug.

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